How to change yer friggin' bathroom faucet.
Tired of looking down and being disappointed? Is your flow too slow?
Tough shit. But we can at least help you change your nasty ass faucet.
Come with the Castulucci Bros. as we go forth on an adventure, an adventure to change the nastiest faucet we ever did see.
Follow this step by step guide, and realize your own personal pipe dream within mere minutes!
First, we have to introduce our cast. Here we have Matt and Frank Castulucci, a file photo from a previous sink "out"-ing:
Now let's have a look-see at the old faucet that once dwelled in our bathroom:
Obviously, the first step in improving the situation is to GET THIS FUCKER OUTTA HERE! So get our your sledge hammer and a cutting torch, and we can be done in no ti. . . okay, that's not the way the Bros. would do it!
You're going to need some basic tools. As far as tools go in plumbing applications, the bigger the better. Aim to surpass the average girth, as length can go unused. A good set of channel lock pliers (or three, as we ended up using), a basin wrench, scraper of some kind (the Bros. endorse the 8-in-One paint scraper multitool), adjustable wrench, PLENTY OF CLEANING SUPPLIES (to deal with the mess you'll undoubtedly uncover), bucket, paper towels, Screwdriver (heavy on the vodka of course - hey, plumbin' sober is NOT the way to rock it), and a RBS (Really Big Screwdriver [this time it's the tool kind]).
As far as actual plumbing supplies go, you'll need to choose a new faucet for your job. We went with a nice, platinum edition nickel plated Moen (by Tuscany) single handle standard lavatory faucet. You'll also need water supply lines from the wall to the faucet (in our case 3/8" compression lines - CHECK THIS BEFORE THE HARDWARE STORES CLOSE!). We recommend the PVC base lines, as they are more flexible and last forever. We stocked up on some plumber's putty (because that's what we do) and silicone (because that's what we like). Teflon tape is a good idea too, but be forewarned - this stuff is precious. Don't bust the bank - buy only as much as you will need and DO NOT WASTE IT.
Okay, now you're ready to get down to business. For starters, you'll need that adjustable wrench handy, as you'll need to shut off the water to the faucet:
Once you've shut BOTH of them off (yeah, there are two of them), you can disconnect the supply lines at the wall and at the faucet. Be sure that Mr. Bucket is ready for some drippy drippy.
Once you've got the supply lines removed, it's time to get out the basin wrench. It also helps if you can fit under the cabinet.
So we sent in the little guy.
Use the basin wrench to get those two bolts holding the faucet in removed.
Now you can gloat over the pieces you have removed. Be sure to give 'em hell.
On closer inspection, God-Damn these things are terrible.
Poor Frankie. He had to shake this out of his hair.
Whatever happened to that faucet? Matt gave it a Donkey Kong style yank, and pulled apart the drain mechanism as well.
Time for some celebration. Party as hard as you can now. This is a key step.
Time to get your clean on.
You're aiming to make it look something like this:
Meanwhile, we also removed the drain. This proved to be quite a challenge for the stomach. Also it was a pain in the ass (Matt almost ripped the entire counter out at one point)
Once he got over the initial drainpipe (we had to distract him with pretty pictures and colored lights), Matt decided to demonstrate how the new drain will work.
Along the way we decided to install the faucet itself. It was held down by two retaining plates that were fastened by a nut. Really simple stuff here. Once we figured out how to center it, we proceeded to putty and silicone the hell out of it, not unlike the newest pop diva.